'Taking control of your destiny:' B.C. man shares story of wife's assisted death
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When Dave Miller first spotted his future wife in a military mess hall, he thought she was the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen.
More than three decades later, Dave supported the love of his life, Storm Miller, through a physician assisted death in their home in Comox, B.C.
Dave has gone on to publicly share his experience with medical assistance in dying (MAiD).
The journey began when Storm was first diagnosed with cancer at the age of 50.
“The first one was a lump. She detected a lump in her breast,” Miller said.
Five years later, after multiple surgeries and chemotherapy sessions, Storm was diagnosed with stomach cancer. This time, the prognosis was terminal.
Dave says it took the last of Storm’s strength to get through a hastily planned wedding for her younger daughter, Millie.
“Soon as the wedding was done, I told my daughters, you know, your mother is going to give up now,” Dave said.
Storm Miller received an assisted death in her home in August of 2016 and is seen here hugging a friend on the morning of her death. (Dave Miller)
“She can’t keep food down, throwing up everything. Stomach cancer you have this constant, they call it the foamies, where people throw up foam.
“That was her existence. It was horrible.”
Once Storm decided to get approved for MAiD, Dave took on organizing her scheduled death.
Having retired from a 31-year career in the military, Dave approached the task with efficiency, practicality and the boundless compassion of a devoted husband.
Pick the date when the kids could come
“I took control of her email. I took control of her Facebook accounts, checking the mail, phone calls,” Dave said.
“We picked the date based on the best day the kids could come.
“I called the funeral home to let them know what time they were to come. I gave them half an hour. How long do you leave the body there?”
The most challenging tasks for Dave and Storm included deciding who to tell about her approaching death and who to invite to share the last days of Storm’s life.
“It’s pretty hard, picking who’s going to be on the inner circle, and who’s going to be on the outside,” Dave said.
On the morning of Storm’s procedure, she took a seat in their sunroom with Dave and Millie at her side.
“I was a little surprised,” Dave said, “It was over or it happened all too quickly. From the time they gave the injection, there was only seconds of consciousness.”
Dave is grateful physician assisted death was an option for his wife.
Dave Miller bought his wife a bouquet of roses on the morning of her assisted death at their home in Comox. (Dave Miller)
“For Storm, this was the ultimate step in taking control of your own destiny and not being a victim of cancer.”
Miller admits to having one possible regret about his experience with MAiD.
During the final 10 days, they had a house full of family and friends, and this meant he lost some privacy with his wife.
“I didn’t get much of a chance to say goodbye myself,” Dave said.
“It was not about me, it was about her. But I wanted her to know how I felt about her.”
A positive outcome from a life tragedy
Dave has shared his experience with a church group and had a video of his talk posted on YouTube.
He says he retells his story to assist other who have questions.
“If I can help other people that would be fantastic. It would be some kind of positive outcome from what was essentially a life tragedy.”
Jeffrey Brooks is the co-chair of the Dying with Dignity Victoria chapter.
He says it’s important for families and partners of patients who are opting for MAiD to share their stories.
“The more of these stories that are shared, it informs the public of what their rights are, what their choices are,” Brooks said.
Brooks gives a presentation called Assisted Dying 101: The Basics to community groups.
His says there is big demand for the talks that explain the criteria for MAiD and how to fill out forms.
“There is a lot of lack of information and misinformation out there. [among] the [medical] professionals, in the institutions and among the public.”
To hear the full interview, click on the audio link below:
A Good Goodbye is a radio and digital series exploring medically assisted death in B.C. Tune into your local CBC Radio One morning show Jan. 29 to Feb. 1.
Article source: http://www.francesoir.fr/actualites-monde/iran-trump-confirme-la-levee-des-sanctions-sur-le-nucleaire-mais-pour-la-derniere
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